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  • Doris Kessel

How Dark is Your Shadow? Part 1

Updated: May 3

From Monster to Angel



Have you ever faced your shadow? I did. Although there were times when it didn’t seem fun… it completely changed my life for the better, and I will be forever grateful for the experience.


A couple of years ago, I took part at training called “Heartwalls” by German trainer Jeffrey Kastenmüller. The goal was to recognize our own heart walls, transform them, uplift the frequency, and further open our hearts. When we have blocks around our heart, we are energetically cutting ourselves off from our self: our intuition, our self-love, our authentic self. When we are disconnected from our heart, we become disconnected from everything around us. This disconnection will cause us to project our fear, pain, and whatever other dysfunctional stories and energies we are carrying around with us.

When we are consciously or unconsciously acting against our heart’s desires or wisdom (the authentic self), we are nourishing the wall. We also feed the wall when we try to protect our self from getting hurt again. Unfortunately, when we build our wall, we only end up hurting our self.


What does this have to do with our shadow or our dark side? A lot. 


It can be pretty challenging to simply “open the heart” when we have a big wall surrounding it! If we want to live authentically, we need to establish self-love, and connect to our real power. In order to do this, we have to face, accept and integrate our shadow side. We are both: light and shadow.

To become more whole, we need to embrace both the light and the dark. When we live through only one aspect, it is as if we are only living a piece of our authentic nature. If we aren’t embracing ourselves fully, we can’t be living from our centre, and we definitely aren’t in our power.


When we have blocks around our heart, we are energetically cutting ourselves off from our self


I’d love to share with you a personal story about an experience I had while healing a piece of my shadow. It was a powerful healing, and I promise it was well worth it! Are you ready?

During the seminar with Jeffrey Kastenmüller, we did a deep meditation to face our shadow. Really deep. I found myself in a horrible place deep down in my body. It was dark, foggy and cold.



Suddenly there was such an ugly monster right in front of me! I could barely breathe…  And what then happened next shocked me even more: the monster screamed at me and said, “I HATE YOU!”


Suddenly, something really magical happened… the monster started to transform into a radiant and bright shining angel! Another wow! I was very surprised, deeply moved, and felt incredibly humble. Tears were running down my face, and I was in awe that this beautiful vision was me. 


Wow. I mean, I knew at the time that I didn’t treat myself very well, and there was a lot of potential to do better… but, I never thought that I hated myself so much! 


This radiant part of myself only appeared after I faced, accepted and gave my monster shadow-self the love needed to transform.


Some things need and want to be seen so they can transform or be released. It’s as if they say, “Hey, look at me! Don’t push me away. I am a part of you right now. You’ve created me.” Sometimes, these energies just need a short moment of awareness in order to let them go.


Are you ready to face your shadow?

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